


Snowball

by qrowrito, teenageunknownkitty



Category: Steven Universe - Fandom
Genre: Collaboration, F/F, Steven Universe AU, TW: Suicide, Trigger Warnings, also because of trigger warnings so, alternative universe, marked mature because holy crap will this get depressing, tw: depression
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-06
Updated: 2016-06-12
Packaged: 2018-07-14 13:43:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7174136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qrowrito/pseuds/qrowrito, https://archiveofourown.org/users/teenageunknownkitty/pseuds/teenageunknownkitty
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One wrong choice makes everything snowball.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Snowball

**Author's Note:**

> This is an AU created by wildfang-windchaser and gamma-the-shadow-person on tumblr (well, over the IM thing tumblr has). I was invited to do a collab with wild so here we are!  
> Also, ***trigger warning ahead***!! TW for depression and suicide, so please tread lightly.

Peridot's arms were crossed, gripping the sides of her body as she stared at the ground with wide eyes. Thoughts rushed over her and a choked sob escaped her.

Why did she feel so... _Helpless_? She felt trapped, scared; she felt confused... Why?

_You try to do everything for her, and she just hates you for it. You're useless, pathetic!_ Peridot's knees buckled and she collapsed to the ground, her head tilted close to the ground. _You're just a peridot!_

Yes, she was. She wouldn't be missed. Especially not by Lapis. Once, Peridot had been eager to please Lapis. She wanted to be friends with the blue water gem.

But now? She realized she'd probably just been annoying her.

_Idiot._

Lapis was right. Peridot had used her. This? The two ex-Homeworld members? They _wouldn't_ work. There was no point in trying anymore. Lapis had made that very clear.

Peridot laughed. It wasn't like a happy laugh, or one of success. No, it was one of bitterness. Of loneliness.

The gem wiped feebly at her eyes under her visor and sighed, collapsing to the ground as another wave of tears cascaded down her face. At this point, Peridot had given up trying to hide the fact that she was crying. Lapis was over at the water tower or with Steven. Peridot had given up on trying to remember where the water gem was.

Peridot sniffed, continuing to stare at the ground in front of her. Thoughts echoed around in her head, making her cry even more. She was _worthless_. _Useless_. She was _just a peridot_.

Steven had told her about death. It had been a strange topic, having come up from an episode of Camp Pining Hearts when one of the campers said that they had been "scared to death". It had been another topic Steven had felt awkward describing to her, but he had done it anyway. At first, Peridot had been confused. Death? Humans died and didn't regenerate? Steven had explained it to her even further (how some humans could die from falling from heights, from sickness ("Some die from cancer or extreme temperatures that can cause sickness," he had said), from injuries, to even in the ocean) and it had crushed Peridot (not literally (but now she was debating it)) to learn these things. Steven had thought that she had begun to care more for the human race. Instead, it had just made her worry more about how Steven could be taken from her. Her first best friend, dead, because he didn't have enough oxygen (even though that probably wouldn't be a problem for him). She wondered how Steven would feel if he knew she was dead.

Yeah. Dead. That... That could work, she realized. Then Lazuli wouldn't hate her anymore!

But how could she shatter her own gem? How would she bring herself to do so? Sure, it was hard living like this, but...

But would anybody miss her? Probably not. But wait, what about- No. Steven wouldn't miss her. He probably thought she annoyed him anyway. He was better off with Pearl and Garnet and Amethyst. Heck, even Lapis Lazuli or Jasper were better company for the boy instead of herself.

Maybe... This was for the best.

Yeah.

Peridot shuffled around for a bit on the ground before finally standing to her feet. Her gaze lingered on her old paint cans for a moment before sighing. Yes. This was the one way to get Lazuli to like her and for everyone else to forgive her for what she's done. It would be better for them to forget who she was, anyway.

Peridot reached up, gently removing the green-tinted visor that had always captured the world in a green hue. How ironic that, in her last minutes, she'd finally see color. The visor fell with a light clatter. The green gem reached up, wiping at her eyes. _This is for the better. Maybe Lapis won't hate you after this,_ the voice told her. Peridot took a shaky breath - her first breath - and smashed her head against the side of the barn. Spiderweb-like cracks reached the ends of her gem and Peridot felt... Strangely at peace, despite the odd feelings she had had earlier. Was this what death felt like?

A coolness swept over her skin and she felt the crack deepen and suddenly the moment of peace she had before was gone. It was too late to go back, Peridot realized. She attempted to scream but nothing happened. Her gem shattered and she disappeared. The pieces of the once-smooth green peridot gem fell to the ground with a quiet clatter and silence swept over the empty barn.


End file.
